


Since I Was A Girl

by Valitrixta



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M, Inspired by Little Women, Light Angst, Minor Jon Snow/Arya Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27902236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valitrixta/pseuds/Valitrixta
Summary: It was a prickle of awareness at the back of her neck that first alerted her something was amiss. Looking up from her sketches, she was startled to find Jon starting intently at her face. Something about the look in his eyes gave her a sense of dread. Sansa's time in Paris had been ever more enjoyable since the appearance of Jon Targaryen. He had been an ever present part of her last few months in the city. At times he drove her mad with his brooding, but more often than not he was a welcome companion. Having her neighbour from home near made her just a little less homesick.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 74





	Since I Was A Girl

**Author's Note:**

> A scene inspired by Amy and Laurie from Little Women. I may add some more chapters with other scenes here and there later on.

The sun shone bright in Paris that day. Sansa Stark sat primly on the lush grass of a beautiful park near the hotel she was staying at with her Aunt Lysa. In her hands she held a sketch book in which the likeness of her companion was slowly forming under her pencil. Across from her sat Jon Targaryen, who she was doing her best to glance at inconspicuously. She did not want to alert him to the fact he was her subject that day - as he was many days if she was being honest. He seemed distracted, as if he were pondering some deep thought. Though such a brooding look was not uncommon for Jon Targaryen. Especially as of late. While Sansa was in Europe as a companion to Aunt Lysa, Jon had fled there after Arya, her tomboyish sister, had refused his proposal. 

The proposal, and it's refusal, had come as no surprise to anyone but Jon and Arya themselves. Everyone who knew them knew Jon had been infatuated with Arya since the day they met. As infatuated as Jon was, Arya had been equally oblivious. To her Jon was a dear friend and brother. This of course presented an obvious problem. One which had been successfully avoided until the day Jon had proposed. After Arya had refused and pleaded with him to come to terms with the fact they could only ever be friends, Jon had left the country to work for his grandfather in England. That was what everyone had been told anyway. Sansa had been delightedly surprised to run into him in Paris where he seemed to be drinking and carousing his heartbreak away.

After a rather bumpy start in which Jon had stood Sansa up, they had fallen into a comfortable friendship. They had never been close before, as Jon had far preferred the company of Robb and Arya. Due to Sansa's interests revolving more around dresses, art, and preparing to be a dutiful wife, she had never really fit in with their group. It was girls like Arya who would roll around in the dirt with them that Robb and Jon wanted to spend time with. As a result Sansa always felt like the odd one out in their family. All her brothers seemed to prefer Arya, as did their closest neighbour - Jon. So, it had been wonderful to have Jon's attention all to herself for once. Sansa thought they got along splendidly when Arya wasn't around to interfere. 

It was a prickle of awareness at the back of her neck that first alerted her something was amiss. Looking up from her sketches, she was startled to find Jon staring intently at her face. Something about the look in his eyes gave her a sense of dread. Sansa's time in Paris had been ever more enjoyable since the appearance of Jon Targaryen. He had been an ever present part of her last few months in the city. At times he drove her mad with his brooding, but more often than not he was a welcome companion. Having her neighbour from home near made her just a little less homesick. 

More than that, the way he smiled at her and made her laugh gave her a secret happiness. For a few moments she could pretend. Pretend that she was more than just his bothersome neighbour from back home. That he came calling not out of friendly duty but because of her. Sansa Stark. She could forget for just a little while that it was her sister he loved - not her. Forget that she was awaiting a proposal from Theon Greyjoy - not Jon Targaryen. There would never be a proposal from Jon Targaryen because she could never be Arya. She didn't want to be - not anymore. She was her own person who wanted to be free of the shadow that Arya Stark cast. In Paris she could be just that. Not Arya Stark's snooty older sister as she was sure everyone back home saw her.

With these thoughts weighing on her mind, Sansa did her best to brush aside Jon's stare. "What are you looking at?" She snapped waspishly. Feigning irritation as she brushed a stray red hair out of her eyes. Jon was not deterred. "You," came his simple reply. His gaze remaining steady. "Be serious Jon. Is there something on my face?" She questioned with a roll of her eyes and a swipe at her face for emphasis. Sansa did not like where this was going. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you are." A dreamy smile crossing his lips as he spoke. Sansa immediately jumped to her feet, sketchpad falling to the grass. "No." She reprimanded him firmly. "Please...don't." The redheaded beauty added quietly when that appeared to have no effect. Everything was just fine the way it was. There was no need to disrupt a perfectly good friendship. To have Jon Stark as a friend was more than young Sansa could have ever hoped for. Anything more would be far too painful.

Unfortunately, Jon was undeterred. He stood from where he had been lounged in the grass looking perfectly rumpled. His coat and waistcoat were askew and a strand of grass stuck to his dark curls. His grey eyes pleaded with her. "Don't marry Theon." His hands reached for her as he spoke and Sansa slapped them away. "No!" She cried out more desperately this time. "Don't do this Jon. Please don't be so cruel." His brows twisted in confusion, as if he didn't understand what could possibly be the problem with his request. Of course he didn't. To him it probably seemed the perfect solution to his dilemma. He couldn't see how much he was hurting her. How his carelessness cut her. 

"I've loved you since I was a girl. Not that you would have noticed. I was always just Robb and Arya's snobby sister to you." A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "Now that Arya's refused you I suppose you think you can just settle for her sister. You must be so proud of yourself for thinking of it." Jon continued to stare at her uncomprehendingly. As if her words were spoken in another language. "I won't be your second choice Jon. I won't do it! I deserve more than that. I've lived in Arya's shadow my whole life and I deserve more than to forever be second best." Her sketches forgotten, Sansa spun on her heel and stormed away. Skirts swishing around her ankles. Faintly she her Jon call out her name. Ignoring it, she broke out into an unladylike run. She had no destination in mind. Just a deep need to get away. Away from Jon. Away from the park where her perfect summer turned terrible. Someplace she could let her tears free and mourn her loss. Why couldn't Jon have noticed her first? Why must she always be second best? Was that the fate she was doomed to?


End file.
